Do you know many musos who write about their struggles with mental health? Me neither.
It’s not a “sexy” or easily digestible topic in general. Let alone when the entire body of work unpacks difficult, uncomfortable feelings.
I was moved by Mr Gochi’s story and his courage to share his (very private) experiences in the Live From The Asylum project. And if it can help anyone struggling with mental health see that good things can come from the darkest places, I’m here for it.
PART 197 OF “AM I EVER GONNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN?” A RANDOM COLLECTION OF UNKNOWINGLY OBVIOUS FACTS ABOUT AUSTRALIAN MUSIC SCENE
Before releasing Live From The Asylum, Mr Gochi (real name Aiden Cleak) was doing very well in the Hobart music and arts scenes.
He had exhibitions and gigs lined up (some of which he had to miss due to the events that unfolded). He played festivals around Tasmania’s capital city and supported acts like Spiderbait, Kingswood and The Smith Street Band with various bands he was a part of. “I think I was in about 5 or 6 different acts at one point”, he recalls.
But his breakdown changed everything.
The collection of songs on Live From The Asylum reflects his state of mind in those traumatic moments. He put his thoughts on paper while trying to hold his life together. He also produced, mixed, mastered and wrote every song on the EP with the help of a couple of close friends here and there.
The place where the body of work was conceived was not ideal, however. Lying on the cold floor of the psych ward in Nambour, QLD, he had seven songs – entire compositions with their quirks and flaws – playing through his head on repeat.
“This project is the most personal thing I have ever created”, the artist shares. “Though it’s melodramatic to say so, it really did come from a place of suffering.”
He wrote the lyrics for “Reign Of The Jester” – the lead single from the EP – the first time he had ever been admitted to hospital struggling with his mental health. He was housed in a shared room in quite a small and bland ward, with nothing to do, see, touch or smell other than bleach.
When he was released from that place, he was sent back to his share house in North Hobart. But things didn’t go particularly well from that point onwards.
He battled the negativity a psychotic breakdown is known to bring. For example, while having a good banter with other gamers, he was convinced his housemates were repeatedly shouting to him “You’re a psycho”. He was mostly minding his business, but he thought he was upsetting them. So he slept rough once.
Eventually, he decided to pour his anxiety, anger, fear and frustration into the creation of a new set of songs. He called the project Live From The Asylum.
He found the lyrics to “Reign Of The Jester” in the notes on his phone. They immediately struck a chord with him.
As a result, he spent countless days trying to match what he had jotted down with the version that was playing over and over in his head. This repeated playback made him add the line: “The jester plays a wacky tune / My only peace this afternoon.”
Live From The Asylum is hard to pin down genre-wise. Every song represents a different style, from trip-hop and nu-metal to electronic music and rap. Flying Lotus and System Of A Down are the two bands Mr Gochi names as his most significant influences.
The EP is not an easy, feel-good type of listening, either. Despite that, the artist hopes his music will move the audience and someone out there will be able to relate to his experiences.
“I love the thought of reaching people through my story”, he stated. “And maybe one day [I can be] a role model for people with schizophrenia, as I know there aren’t many public figures of that kind.“
Fingers crossed his noble dream will come true. In the meantime, however, check out Live From The Asylum below.
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